It's Called Jogging...or Yogging...Pronounced With A Silent J.

My latest encounters at 24 hour fitness here in Kansas City.  Have you ever met any of the following?!........

1. Why hello there Mr. "I poured a bottle of cologne on myself for my pre-workout shower"  I didn't see you jump on the treadmill next to me-but I sure as hell did smell you. Pardon my sneezing.

2. Mr. Questionable Constipation:  You would probably overlook this man accept for his constant groaning, moaning, and sighing that slips out as he lifts his 15 lbs for arm curls. At times I'm tempted to approach him and ask if this loud lifting regimen is part of his bowel regimen.

3. Mr. Muscles: He carries a protein shake around for hydration as oppose to good ol fashion water. He presents himself with a muscle T and Adidas work out pants with matching color coordinated shoes.  I can't help but notice that he spends more time checkin himself out in the mirror than he does actually lifting. I'm quite curioso as to how he has gotten so ripped that I can see every muscle fiber in his body....how is this possible?

4. Mr. Short-Shorts with comb over: Sir...I can almost see your twig and berries as you stride on your eliptical. You should consider donating your 70's attire-as i think you out grew these shorts when you were in highschool 40 years ago.

5. Miss Fake TaTa's:  Blondie here is a personal trainer. Her "lady friends" are squashed with a sports bra 3 times too small for her new additions and it makes her look like she has four instead of two. Not the best way to flaunt your new plastic hun.

6. Mrs. Johnson County Mamma: This poor frazzled woman is raising the standard 2.3 children at her brick mansion in a private lake community. White fence, 4 car garage, a diamond that could sink her to the bottom of the Lake of the Ozarks and a husband whom is never to be found on business trips. She is run down, exhausted, unhappy, and in major need of a "me day"...and yet...she is still giving herself the workout of a life time. Kudo's to you Johnson County Mamma.

7. Miss Volleyball: Sweetheart...I can see your cheeks.

8. The Teens: These middle school/early highschool children come in groups as they are insecure at this age to come alone. You can usually find them surrounded in three's or four's around the bench press..Spending more time looking at the highschool chicks than pressing...makes me laugh every time.

9. Mr Hott: So...you signed me up for my gym membership...held me up in conversation for half an hour..almost made me late to work on my first night...and I can find you there every day at 3 pm ready to give me a wave when I walk in the door. When did you say our first date was going to be?

10. You..yah You!...."I think I know you from highschool": So great to catch up-what have you been up to the past oh...six years?!

Remember-you are nothing less than a work of art.
SBS


Verse of the Blog Proverbs 4:20-23
Song of the Blog: Beautiful Things-DJ Tiesto